Roller-Coaster Ride (In A Cab)

U know how a lot of cab drivers like to chit-chat wif their passengers when they are driving? Some of them are friendly, others purely annoying. Well… I met one rather “interesting” driver today.

This uncle was apparently trying beri hard to strike up a conversation wif me ( I tink he’s too bored, caught him dozing off while waiting at the taxi stand, he’s quite surprised when I suddenly opened the cab door ). He kept babbling on n on in hokkien and I kept up a polite front by responding occasionally wif nods and smiles. After a while, he seemed to notice I’m not really beri interested so he started to ask me questions instead.

The following conversation is in part hokkien, part Chinese but I translate to English ( I cun really type hokkien… if any of u knows how, u can enlighten me)

Cab Driver: “Ah Dee, u understand hokkien anot? U understand wat I been saying hor?”
Me: “ Ya, I can listen n understand hokkien but I cun speak tat well. I Cantonese.”
Cab Driver: “Oh Cantonese ah…I know Cantonese oso. Earlier say lah…”

And then he continued his babbling IN HOKKIEN for THE REST OF THE JOURNEY. Um…I tink he din really get the point.

Well…Nv mind. Language barrier aside…His topics were really umm….inappropriate. He was telling me tat recently traffic police like to summon and fine cab drivers. Then he said tat he kana 3 summons tis few days. 2 for SPEEDING, 1 for IGNORING RED LIGHT. Then he went on to describe how he NEARLY GOT INTO AN ACCIDENT YESTERDAY. How he expect me to respond? Praise him for being a “safety driver”? Or show admiration for his driving skills? Maybe I shld juz say “Uncle, u damn heng ah… drive until lidat oso nv die ah.”

And then… as thou he really wanted to make me speechless, he took out a LARGE piece of paper containing written records of where n when he kana booked, opened it up n LAID IT ACROSS THE STEERING WHEEL ( n his hands were on the paper, not on the steering wheel, BOTH HANDS ! )

My tots are in * *, actions in ( )

Cab Driver: “Blah blah blah…” (not really listening to him, looking at the road in anxiety)
Me: “Ya…” * hands on the wheel, uncle *
Cab Driver: “Blah blah blah…”
Me: “Um… Oic…” * look in front, uncle *
Cab Driver: “Blah blah blah blah….”
Me: “Really ah?” * dun look at me uncle, look at the road, THE ROAD ! *
Cab Driver: “Ya loh… Hahaha…”
Me: “Haha…” (really RIGID smile) * !#$%^&@#$%^!!! *

Well… luckily I managed to survive the ride home w/o any mishap ( otherwise I wun be blogging here liao ) :p