Questions (心好乱)

Wat does it mean when a gal lets everyone know she has a boyfriend except u? Even to the extent of hiding it from u?

If someone is attached but still shows interest in u, wat would u do? I always believe tat “她今天可以为了你离开他，她改天也可以为了别人离开你。” But... wat if u are really interested in her as well? And seriously speaking, looking from a different & more open perspective, there realli isn't anything wrong in moving on if u realli met someone more suitable or beta, rite? (or maybe I'm juz trying to find a reason to justify everything)

Is a guy acting like a bastard if he still makes his move despite knowing tat the gal is attached? If I'm the gal's boyfriend, of course I tink the guy's a jerk... but from a neutral(?) point of view, it's juz fair competition, rite?

Maybe I'm thinking too much le... maybe nothing really matters... maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't...

Maybe... not maybe... I should juz go sleep... ZZZzzz...

Wedding Maths

Went to Kaikok's wedding yesterday... a simple but beri sweet wedding... can see the effort put into the event... he even made a flash telling the story of how the couple met & fell in love... it's not those type simple flash but with motion, facial expressions, music, everything de... beri pro... I heard he spent ONE WHOLE YEAR finishing it... plus they have video tribute to the parents as well... and another video made by their frenz showing their courting process (it's REAL-LIFE acting de, as in the frenz actually role-play KK & his wife)... wat a nice wedding gift...

Then can see they spent quite a big sum of money on the wedding photos & album... can tell from the num of photos & the quality... the food was quite good... lots of seafood (lobster, prawns, scallops, garoupa)... their door gift for the guests is a small saucer dish with the picture of a cartoon couple in traditonal chinese wedding costumes (beri cute)...

Seeing people get married... the topic for the nite between the guys of course revolved around marriage... some of them have upcoming wedding plans le... we were oso discussing the amount of money needed for marriage... unavoidable issue... buy flat, renovation, wedding package, honeymoon, everything adds up to a big lump sum...

Let's do some rough calculations here...

Starting off with a flat... beri impt... & one of the biggest expenses in a marriage... unless u stay with parents... take a four or five room flat for example, 10% downpayment (5% for civil servants)... after minus your cpf, u still nid to fork out around 5-10k cash (on average)... renovations w/o furniture around 20-50k (depends on your standard)... furniture we dun count 1st (up to individual)...

Wedding rings & wedding bands... have difference de ah... depends wat u buy (how big your diamond is, hahaha)... I give rough figure around 5-8k...

Wedding package... market rate around 3-4k for BASIC package... the wedding album will add up to much more after photo selection...

I wun add the wedding dinner & ROM fees here... coz USUALLY will get back from the angbaos de... unless u invite all the stingy "yao guis"... or unfortunate incident like angbaos lost (happened before, it's in the papers)...

Many other charges & expenses... the list goes on & on... u nid to actually start planning the wedding, then more costs keep popping up...

In conclusion, even for a simple wedding (i dun mean void deck or coffeeshop weddings), a couple may need about 40-50k in cash (minimum)... and I haven't even added the honeymoon yet...

No wonder nowadays Singaporeans are getting married later & later (or dun marry at all)... excluding those who dun wana get married due to other factors (high expectations, no confidence in marriage etc), some wana get married but dun have enuff money or juz frightened off by the costs...

So people... moral of the story is... start saving up now... or find a rich partner... hahaha...

Depression? (long post)

No... I dun have depression... at least NOT YET... haha... no lah... not as close to getting as some of my frenz...

But the feeling sux... duno izzit unable to recover from holiday mood... or becoz of the hectic LAST week of sch (i tot last week is supposed to be nua de?)... or becoz of the "kopi sessions"... ya i kana "drink kopi" again, tis time with my RO... who broke to me the "good news" tat i am scheduled for another "kopi session" with the P & VP... here I am, trying to quit coffee... but keep kana-ing the other type of "kopi"... I prefer the old normal type of coffee... haiz...

Now I'm starting to slightly understand wat those suffering from depression or those super-pessimistic people feels... it's like EVERYTHING is not going well for u... like TROUBLE keeps coming your way... the worst things tat u fear will happen ALL happen... is like heaven is leaving u with NO WAY OUT... the whole depressing feeling is juz suffocating sia...

Even trivial things in life... becomes such a big deal during such low periods... for example, I juz had the WORST dinner cooked by my mum in years (or maybe ever)... long beans with bean curd, some vegetarian dish (the flour type with machiem no taste), bittergourd soup (as if feeling bitter no enuff)... aiyo... for all of u who know me, do u tink i can eat these? my mum definitely knows... duno wat drove her to cook up tis menu... lost my appetite... din even finish one-quarter of my plate of rice... get my point when I said felt like EVERYTHING not going well for u?

Since my school days, my frenz have been admiring me for my positive attitude in life... machiem always so happy-go-lucky & stress-free... machiem like I can handle stress beri well... but guess it's the opposite ba... it's practically becoz I cun handle stress tat I choose not to face it most of the time... but when faced with situations where I cun avoid the problems & stress (like now), I am the type tat breaks down most easily...

During the KL trip, I realli enjoyed myself... basking myself in the crap & nonsense of my buddies... but I found myself unable to smile & laff at some of their silly antics & jokes... even some of them commented "Jiawei nowadays so serious liao..." haiz... I dun wana be serious... I dun like being serious... it's juz not me... I always want to retain tat childish innocence, no matter how old I become... coz kids are always happier than adults... they are happy over simple things while adults are nv contented & always stressed over EVERYTHING... but slowly, I find myself losing tat simplicity & innocence... maybe forced by society, by work, by adulthood itself...

Sorry for my long blabbering... and thanks for your patience in reading tis long post (not many will read everything, I guess)... but I tink pouring out all your woes is beta than keeping them all trapped inside your heart...

Suan le... unhappy stuff will pass (I believe)... lucky tmr is the last day of school le (althou next week still have remedial)... I cun imagine if I kana all tis sh*t at the beginning of the term... so for now, grumble finish, time to move on, look forward to more positive things... sat meeting the NIE "sisters"... long time no see them liao... sat evening Kaikok's wedding, can meet up with the guys (army buds) again, in full strength (almost) tis time... hokkaido trip coming soon (!)...

I must realli pamper myself tis June holidays... spas & massages is a must-have... will splurge & totally enjoy myself in hokkaido... maybe I'll get myself a PSP (been considering for quite some time)... maybe I'll try to organize another trip before holiday ends, a short one if possible... anyone interested?

Lidat spend $... after holidays have to eat bread liao... but who cares? enjoy 1st, tink later...

Back From KL, Last Week Of School

Ok... one more week to go before june holidays... ganbatte! But tis week realli siong sia... two workshops... meet-the-parents... file-checking... why cun they leave us alone for the last week?

Juz came back from KL yesterday... the trip was fun... with lots of crap & nonsense from the guys... hahaha... but the standard of food in KL seems to have dropped... din buy much, juz a shirt & a pair of adidas shorts... mostly eating & roaming around in KL area...

Din take any photos tis time round... coz noone (all 7 of us) brought camera... pathetic hor... but tat's the case with all guys lah... we all same mentality... nothing much to shoot in Malaysia... bring camera for wat? still risk kana stolen... we not like gals everything everywhere oso like to take photos...

Still feeling tired from having to go back work rite after holiday... I'll blog more abt the KL trip tis weekend when holiday begins...

Decaf-Me

I'm cutting down on coffee coz heard tat it causes memory loss... well... my memory nv been good anyway... dun wana make it worse... else more like senile dementia liao...

My coffee intake has increased since starting work... bobian... waking up at six every morning is a torture... if nv take coffee, will become like a zombie by afternoon... if gotta stay back after school to do work, worse...

No caffeine for the whole of today... no coffee, no tea... juz one cup of milo during lunch... felt so lethargic the whole day... after school can feel the headache coming... luckily come home took a nap then feel beta... but still feel tired lah... tonite will sleep earlier... hopefully the withdrawal symptons would have passed by tmr mornie...

Counting Down

2 more weeks to Vesak Day long weekend... plus KL/Genting trip !

3 more weeks to June Holidays !!

5 more weeks to Hokkaido !!!

Ohh... I cun wait... everyday (esp working day) is like 度日如年...

How I envy some of my frenz who are now enjoying 3 months of holidays...

How I envy some other frenz who are going away to Greece, Spain, United States for holiday...

Going green with envy le... but nv mind lah... dun envy so much... 人比人，气死人...

Now can only hope last 3 weeks of school can pass without any hiccups... and holiday FASTER COME...

*praying*